Being the Irrational Me
When in doubt and I can’t draw any evidence in that instance — I don’t hesitate to prematurely conclude in order for me to temporarily close off the issue. That is what I call the Irrational Me.
The cause of such irrational thinking is anxiety. What seems to be the strength (organised, complete tasks, result driven) that brings me success can become the reason that also sinks me to defeat. So I want to close off the chapter quickly. I want to tick off the box in the checklist so I can move on. But I know there isn’t enough facts to bring it to closure. So I simply make up a good story, fill the gaps to give it a nice finish and present it as the final product. I convince myself; I even convince others.
How can I stop being irrational to the extent of making up something so believable yet may have no substance of truth but just pure fallacy? The way out of this mental erroneous compartment is to simply slow down. Cut out the anxiety by simply cutting out the processor that’s meant to deceive the human brain. It’s all self-deception mastered through years of anxiety driven conclusion with no substantial proof of its truth.
It is not easy to slow down and stop irrational thinking. It takes conscious effort to push it back. Being aware that it’s there is the first step to combating this problem. Such mental exercise has to be intentionally done regularly to form a new habit; thus — a new outcome and a changed behaviour.
Slow down and get the mind to think rationally. Remember the story of the hare and the tortoise? It’s not how fast we run but it’s making sure we steadily complete the race with the right mindset. All the negative thoughts kick-in when we allow time to work against us, plenty of bad experience to cloud our minds. Instead turning all those negative thoughts to its complete opposite will only help us and make us better people. Why whine and raise a red flag when it’s inconclusive?
Do this exercise everyday to train yourself to think rationally:
You came out of a bad interview. You felt you did not do well. Instead of blaming or beating yourself up, here’s what I suggest you consciously do to eradicate those negative thoughts. 1. Reward yourself with these 4 words — I did my best. 2. Don’t dwell in the past —it was a mismatch, something better will come.
Your boss constantly gave you a piece of his mind. The more you defend the more he picks on you. 1. It isn’t personal. 2. He is just doing his job as a manager. 3. He has his own set of stress too.
A group of colleagues left for lunch without inviting you. 1. It’s better to avoid the lunch chat and gossip. 2. I can finally have some peace and privacy.
A friend told me that her colleagues forgot to order a set of annual calendar and notebook for the new year. She was all worked up and angry. I told her to 1. simply ask if she thinks it’s important. I also advised her to 2. overlook small things that have little to no value and focus on the bigger aspect of the job.
The pattern of flipping the negative out and replacing it with a positive to give the person or matter the benefit of doubt does a whole lot of good to our mental wellbeing. It also strengthens interpersonal relations and builds resilience.
The picture on the left definitely illustrates how irrational thinking can cause us to become unreasonable, anxious, and depressed unnecessarily. We feel too much. But if we slow down and wipe that all out, we can put our thoughts into hibernation until the facts are disclosed to give us the truth.
